14. Awakening Inner Radiance - Canada Goldenrod

Reading time: 10 minutes

Hi! Thank you for joining me again!

I love sharing these chapters showing how nature’s support and guidance are available to us all if we just pay attention and listen. I hope you are beginning to understand how essences co-created with nature can connect us to this unlimited source of support and guidance, even if we live in the heart of a bustling city.

PLEASE START HERE to access chapters in chronological order.       

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"We are stars wrapped in skin. The light you are seeking has always been within."  ~ Rumi, 13th-century poet, scholar, theologian, and Sufi mystic.

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Pen and pencil sketch of making the Canada Goldenrod essence.

August 9, 2013

FIELD NOTES:  Caribou Creek, Kootenai National Forest

Anxiety and frustration filled my drive from the Salish Mountain range to the Purcell Mountains. I had forgotten to gather water for my next essence at the last roadside spring, so self-doubt crept in, and negative self-talk scolded me for not taking care of the details. A bald-faced hornet flew into my car during a rest stop along a creek. When I got close to getting it out, another flew in, then another. They were everywhere! I drove with all the windows open, hoping the wind would rush through and carry the hornets away. Fortunately, it worked.

As I drove, I reflected on the water situation. My intuition led me to make an essence using Canada Goldenrod, but I needed fresh water. While I had filtered water from home for drinking, I preferred using local spring or well water to create essences. The bright golden color of the tall flowers lining the creeks and drainages of the Purcell Mountain Range was mesmerizing. I passed mile after mile of the mustard-colored flowers and grew desperate. If I continued on my current route, I would eventually reach the town of Yaak, where I could obtain crystal clear untreated well water at the campground. However, going to Yaak would consume a lot of precious daylight.

I arrived at the campground before noon and stopped to greet the host I had met during my previous visit. After sharing an update on my recent adventures, I filled my water jug. With relief, I turned my Subaru back toward Caribou Creek. My body was still buzzing from the adrenaline rush caused by the hornets, along with the stress of my forgetfulness and impatience. I took a few moments to breathe deeply and connect with the calming energy of bear grass, which reassured me that everything was unfolding perfectly.

At the trailhead parking area, I discovered fresh bear scat, overturned boulders, and signboards warning about grizzlies. To make my presence known, I clapped and called out. Armed with my bag of essence-making tools and holstered bear spray, I walked up the trail.

I found a sunny opening by the creek, surrounded by vibrant Canada goldenrod, quaking aspen, lodgepole pine, spruce, elderberry, bearberry, and red clover. The elderberries were not yet ripe, and the surrounding grasses were dry, filled with seeds for next year’s bounty.

Grounding myself and connecting with the landscape and the goldenrod took longer than usual. I sat quietly, using calming breaths to help me focus. After a while, I stood and wandered among the tall, brilliantly colored yellow flowers along the creek. Tiny black pollinating flies and bees covered the sticky clusters of small, ray-like flowers that formed bright torch-like spikes. Fine hairs covered the stems and long, narrow, sharply-toothed leaves. I gently brushed the tips of each plant, exploring their energy with my fingers. I connected with my team of unseen helpers, who guided me to let go of doubt and trust my intuition. They reminded me that all would unfold in perfect progression. I collected some yellow blooms and carefully placed them in the water bowl resting on the stump of a fallen tree.

It was the peak of a long, hot summer day. I sheltered in the shade of elderberry bushes, engaging in a mindful process of connecting with the goldenrod, my surroundings, and the unseen realms. With a perfect view of the flowers and the essence bowl, I envisioned sunlight streaming directly into the bowl, radiating outward in golden rays.

Flowers resonate with light relative to their color, as do our chakras. This intense flower connected with my third chakra, the solar plexus, the center of my strength and sense of self. The solar plexus is the chakra associated with fire, which influences our interactions with the world and our ability to create change in our lives.

The wisdom of the goldenrod spoke to me firmly, “Stay focused on your dreams and intentions; let them light your path, and don’t look back. Stay strong in who you know yourself to be, appreciate the gift that you are, and trust that all is well.” This was not just a suggestion—it was a command. I sat up straight and paid attention.

The bowl pulsed with energy as if daring me to defy its message. The surrounding goldenrod looked like brightly lit torches. Humbled, I expressed gratitude for the creative process. I felt blessed to witness water capturing the energy of fire, creating a catalytic and propelling force of forward motion—an unlimited source of vibrational fuel.

Then, the goldenrod said, “Here I AM!” 

At that moment, I recognized the relationship between the more significant eternal part of myself in the unseen realms and the ever-changing aspect of me expressed in physical form. I realized my inner being is constant and unwavering. As life moves through me, past me, and is affected by me, the ‘I AM’ part of me remains untouched. The outer landscape of reality is continuously shifting, evolving, and changing form, just like my physical body, but the core of who I AM remains unchanged.

Canada Goldenrod helped me realize that I can free myself from the illusion of what I am not, from the false belief that I lack value or that I am not seen or heard. The disruptions in my family during my formative years affected how I perceived the world, shaping my thoughts and responses to life. The tall, sunlit flowers guided me to reclaim my sovereignty by making conscious choices that reflect my values and truths rather than being influenced by a changing landscape, my past, or the opinions of others. My view of the world shifted a little.

Deep inside, I heard another message, “Do not hide. There is power in the torch of I AM, which burns brightly and eternally within each of us. When you experience doubt, seek your unwavering core within this eternal and infinite flame. Stand strong and burn brightly. Find other torches and unite with them to illuminate awakened consciousness in the world. You are the I AM presence.”

The part of me that doubts stood ready to protect me. The message sounded like a responsibility I couldn't handle. Being seen and heard are two of my greatest desires and my deepest fears. However, the essence of goldenrod was insistent. It said, "Don't try to contain this energy; let it fuel your journey and banish your fears."

Part of me wanted to end this conversation with the goldenrod—to extinguish the demanding fire and run away. I stood up, but I didn't flee. I remembered that I chose to do this powerful inner work. I couldn't have chosen otherwise. Just then, kamikaze pine beetles flew clumsily into my face and hair, distracting me from the process. I shook off the noisy, long-legged beetles and stepped away. I found my camera and began looking through the lens for some distance and a different perspective.

When preparing an essence, I interpret my interactions with nature through intellect, physical senses, intuition, and connection with spirit. In the weeks following the co-creation of a new essence, I experience a gradual yet profound immersion that reveals how its energy applies to my life. Insights emerge from synchronistic events, intuitive awareness, and gut feelings. The messages become clearer as I connect them to the larger context of my life.

Angelica and Canada goldenrod brought old feelings of not belonging and not being seen or heard to my attention. When I work with essences by taking daily drops to address a specific need, I become more present, aware, and mindful of what's happening around and within me. Sometimes, this heightened awareness can lead to a healing crisis—not by making things worse but by making me aware of the underlying issues relating to the need I was initially addressing. These underlying problems are often uncomfortable to face. I've buried them deep. However, the new awareness usually points toward a resolution, helping me release the hold of the past.

As I reevaluated my experiences with childhood neglect, I found myself relying on a coping mechanism similar to that of Scarlett O'Hara, setting my feelings aside for another day. However, goldenrod reminded me that I needed to confront and release the illusions defining me if I genuinely wanted to reclaim my self-worth. To do this, I need to acknowledge their existence.

Familiar feelings of worthlessness and defectiveness overwhelmed me. I embraced the child within me, the part of me burdened by these emotions. I wanted her to know she was safe and loved. Holding her close, I drifted away from the glowing yellow bowl, allowing the essence to infuse without my direct involvement.

Knowing when to step back is a sign of wisdom. However, I sensed that the more I connected to the I AM fire, the more authentic and purposeful I would become, making it easier to acknowledge and reclaim the parts of myself I had been avoiding.

Exhausted by the experience, I returned to the cool shade near the creek and sat down. I gazed out at the bowl of glowing yellow light. If I am not who I have always thought myself to be, then who am I? I thought of the Star Beings and the seed growing within me. I remembered that hands far greater than mine supported me and held me safe. The seed represented the most genuine part of my being—my original authenticity. It embodied the wholeness of who I AM, including the unseen and magical aspects of myself that came here to merge with the physical world. I remembered my commitment to bringing this aspect of myself into the world, nurturing it, and making it a priority for the rest of my life.

Finally, at peace with the day and the essence-making process, I gave the bowl of yellow light more time to infuse. I closed my eyes and gave thanks to the unseen realms. While the sun was still hot, I gathered the essence and my things to head down the road. This journey was gaining value and meaning with each new day. I was on my way to the ultimate destination, where the many aspects of oneself merge to create the place we all long for—home.

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Canada Goldenrod (Solidago canadensis)

Essence qualities: (empowerment) The Canada goldenrod flower essence is the "I AM” essence. It helps us stay true to our unique individuality and purpose without distraction or self-doubt. It helps us understand the relationship between the larger and unseen non-physical parts of ourselves and how we express ourselves in physical form. This understanding shifts our worldview, and we become empowered and free from the illusion of what we are not. This essence helps keep our thoughts aligned with our deepest intentions and desires so we may stand firm and shine our light for others to see.

Indications: creating by default; not understanding one’s place in the world; caught up in illusion; disempowered: relying too heavily on mental forces because of an inability to move beyond the physical senses; not understanding the relationship between the physical and unseen aspects of self; disconnected and unaware of inner wisdom.

Affirmations:
Here I AM. I AM creating a meaningful life. I know my truth, and I AM living it. My voice has power and strength. I AM walking the right path for me. Nature is nurturing me, helping me flourish.

NEXT: 15. Awakening my Inner Radiance

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